I’m so excited to share something I’ve been working on from the heart:
✨ The Silent Battle: Printable Digital Double Mastectomy Healing Guide ✨
This guide was created for women walking through one of the hardest journeys of their lives. It’s filled with encouragement, practical tools, and gentle reminders that healing is more than physical, it’s mental and emotional too.
Whether you’re preparing for surgery, in recovery, or supporting a loved one, this printable guide offers steps, reflections, and hope for every stage of the journey. 🌸
After my divorce, my world felt like it had been turned upside down. I was no longer just dealing with the emotional pain of separation and being a single mother, but also an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. I was paranoid that he was going to come back and finish me and my daughters off.
Every creak in the house sent my heart racing, and the darkness seemed to hold shadows that loomed larger than life. It felt like the walls that once provided comfort now betrayed me, making me feel exposed and alone.
I’d lay in bed at night, every sound amplifying my fears. The figures that danced in the corners of my vision made me question what was real and what was just my anxiety playing tricks on me. It was a suffocating way to live.
In the midst of all that fear, I found strength. I realized that taking control of my environment, creating a sanctuary for myself and my daughters, was the key to feeling safe again. From simple changes like better lighting to more comprehensive steps like securing my home, each step I took was a step away from fear and toward peace.
If you’ve ever felt that bone-deep unease, I get it. And that’s why I want to share what worked for me in my Ultimate Guide to Feeling Safe at Home. You don’t have to live in fear, and you’re not alone in wanting to reclaim that sense of security.
Secure Your Entry Points
Did you know that 34% of burglars enter through the front door? Make sure all entry points, including doors and windows, are secure. Install deadbolts, security bars, and smart locks to prevent unauthorized access.
Install a Home Security System
Studies show that homes without a security system are 300% more likely to be broken into. Invest in a reliable home security system with cameras, motion sensors, and alarms to deter intruders and alert you of any suspicious activity.
Illuminate Your Property
Darkness provides cover for potential intruders. Install outdoor lighting with motion sensors to illuminate your property and deter burglars. Well-lit areas are less attractive to criminals looking for easy targets.
Secure Your Valuables
Keep your valuables secure by storing them in a secure location, such as a safe or a locked cabinet. Consider investing in a fire proof home safe to protect important documents, jewelry, and other valuable items from theft or natural disasters.
Practice Fire Safety
Fire safety is essential for protecting your home and family. Install smoke detectors on every level of your home and test them regularly. Create a fire escape plan and conduct fire drills with your family to ensure everyone knows what to do in case of an emergency. Purchase fire retardant blankets and fire extinguishers and practice how to use that fast and effectively.
Maintain Your Home
Regular maintenance can help prevent accidents and keep your home safe. Check for any potential hazards, such as loose wires, leaky pipes, broken windows or unstable structures. Address any issues promptly to avoid safety risks.
Get to Know Your Neighbors
Neighborhood watch programs are effective in reducing crime rates. Get to know your neighbors and look out for each other. By working together, you can create a strong sense of community and enhance the safety of your neighborhood.
By following these tips and taking proactive measures, you can create a safe and secure environment for you and your family.
Remember, safety starts at home, so make it a priority to safeguard your living space and enjoy peace of mind knowing that you are protected.
Stress has been linked to heart disease, cancer, diabetes and may other life threating health issues. Dragoyleis a huge believer in thriving in life. You can’t do that with a ton of stress. Stress puts you in survivor mode, lets learn to survive, so you can Thrive with 10 healthy ways to deal with stress.
Stress creeps up as you’re surviving life, growing your business while also trying to manage the day-to-day. Stress can be a powerful motivator, but what happens when it’s not delt with?
High levels of stress can impact sleep and lead to more serious mental health issues. Learning how to deal with stress is an important skill for every entrepreneur.
What causes stress?
Stress is a reaction in the body causing a “fight or flight,” response, which is the primary function of stress. When your brain senses danger, it produces a physical and emotional response to safeguard the body.
Sometimes our fight-or-flight response activates when we aren’t in real danger which is what causes physical signs like increased heart rate, dizziness and faster breathing.
Stressors can be split into two types:
External stressors. These are situations usually out of your control and forced by your environment and by different changes occurring in your life.
Internal stressors. These include thoughts or behaviors and habits usually that you can control, like your daily schedule or sleeping patterns.
How stress affects you mentally and physically
Small amounts of stress can be motivational and even empowering. This type of stress, referred to as acute stress, is generally not worrisome.
An external stressor may be a fast-approaching vehicle, about to hit your car. A stress response may be triggered, heightening your senses and providing a boost of energy needed to quickly maneuver out of the way.
The Yerkes-Dodson law states that managed levels of stress can actually lead to increased work performance, interest in your hobbies, family and friends, as well as, a longer attention span on normal life tasks.
Humans are not designed to live in a constant state of high stress.
Chronic stress, often referred to as “bad stress,” can happen as a result of sustained exposure to a toxic workplace environment, an abusive relationship or financial problems.
Chronic stress can painfully impact one’s life physically, spiritually and mentally. Studies have shown that continuous stress can wreak havoc on the body’s immune system, cause depression and damage organs. Those who don’t find healthy ways to deal with your stress may also see an impact on mental health—prolonged stress can lead to depression and anxiety.
9 healthy ways to deal with stress
Understanding how to use stress to your advantage is a skill that you can master over time. You can become an expert at having healthy relationships, good time management and to use good stress as an energy boost during an emergency. But this relies on keeping bad stress at bay. Here’s how to manage stress using daily habits and making adjustments to your mindset.
1. Prioritize what’s important
Stress often results from having too many demands that divide your attention. Prioritize these demands, then tackle them one at a time in the order that both meets your goals, is most important and brings a feeling of accomplishment.
When prioritizing tasks, ask yourself two questions:
What is the importance of this task? Does it help me meet my personal and professional goals? Is it in line with my personal values? Does it contribute to my overall health and wellbeing?
How urgent is it? Will putting of this task have negative consequences for myself or others at work or at home?
The answer to these questions will help you organize your demands into four categories. Write out the list below and put our demands into the correct section.
Using this framework can help you sort out your to-do list and focus on what matters most to you, while ignoring, delegating, or outright deleting the rest.
2. Learn to say no
For many, say no can be challenging. Overcommitting can lead to unhappiness and unfulfilled promises, as stress creeps in and your schedule gets crazier. Learn to say no carefully and thoughtfully to save space to focus on the promises made that are more meaningful to you and the people around you.
3. Get physical
The thought of adding exercise to your schedule shouldn’t cause even more stress. That’s why it’s important to pick a workout that you enjoy. Activities as simple as walking the dog or doing 15 minutes of desk yoga can have a positive impact.
Most people know that getting some exercise can have positive impacts on your mental and spiritual health which is linked to lowering stress levels and improving your overall health.
4. Take time to relax
Technology is great, but causes stress when you’re forced to juggle multiple projects, stay in touch with friends and family, and manage, not only your life, but your work from your phone. These days the world expects an instant reply, dependency on technology could be causing increased stress.
💡 Tips:
Turn off non-essential phone notifications
Try a meditation app to de-clutter your mind for short burst of time
Disconnect from devices and meet friends in person
5. Automate and delegate
Most people can find it hard to relinquish control, especially those who are independent. Learning to outsource can free up time to focus on what matters. Once you’ve organized your tasks and stressors the urgent–not important category is a great place to pass some of your duties down to others.
Automation involves using tools to complete simple tasks. This can be anything from an automatic watering system to a social scheduling calendar that post regularly for you.
Outsourcing can mean hiring a virtual assistant to manage personal tasks, or hire a house cleaner, dog poop cleanup company or yard service.
6. Breathe deeply
Science has explored the link between deep breathing and stress response. As deep breathing expands your lungs and “encourages full oxygen exchange,” it helps to slow the heartbeat and lower blood pressure.
Deep breathing can be added to your daily schedule for 20 minutes, two times a day. If you prefer a guided approach, try a meditation app or group yoga class that focuses on breath and mindfulness. My favorite app is Insite Timer, I’ve been using it for years with great success and it’s free.
7. Practice self-awareness and know your limits
Your body is constantly sending you warning signs or physical symptoms when your body is overwhelmed with toxic stress. Back pain, stomach issues, or headaches may show up as direct reactions to chronic stress. Pay attention to your body. Do not ignore these stressors as they can lead to more serious health issues.
8. Engage in meaningful pursuits
If When your job or home stress is piling up, take a minute to seek activities that stimulate your brain, encourages imagination, works muscles that aren’t normally used or something that always puts a smile on your face.
Creative activities can actually lower cortisol levels, a hormone that is noted as a marker of stress. If your regular schedule is in front of a digital screen, spend your free time disconnecting and try a hands-on activity that works out a new part of your brain.
9. Ask for help
Sometimes stress can reach a level that is beyond personal intervention. When it becomes impossible for you to use the techniques described here, reach out to a friend or family member, join a support group, or call a professional mental health expert. If you feel overwhelmed, isolation can make your stress levels even worst, don’t wait and reach out. Even if you don’t want to.
Manage stress for mental and physical health
By adding a few of these stress management techniques to your daily routine can help reduce your stress and improve the symptoms that chronic stress causes.
10. If these stress management techniques are too difficult or you just don’t have time for them, you might consider CtrlStress.
With Ctrlstress, you’ll have the tools you need to manage your stress no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Imagine feeling calm, focused, and in control no matter what life throws your way. You’ll be able to handle any situation with ease, knowing that you have the power to manage your stress and maintain your composure
The best part? Ctrlstress is easy to learn and quick to apply. With just a few minutes of practice each day, you’ll be well on your way to mastering the skill and taking control of your stress. And, unlike other stress management techniques, Ctrlstress doesn’t just treat the symptoms. With repeated use, it will actually lessen your body’s response to stressful situations, making you more resilient in the face of adversity.
The benefits of Ctrlstress don’t stop there. Imagine how your life will change when you’re no longer bogged down by stress and anxiety. You’ll have more energy, more focus, and more time to enjoy the things you love. You’ll be able to excel in your career, build stronger relationships, and achieve your goals with ease.
This is a list of 26 ways to switch from surviving to thriving in life. To thrive is a choice. It’s an attitude and your ability to thrive in the world is a direct result to the actions you take on a daily basis and the beliefs you embrace. Training your mind, body and spirit to grow and flourish doesn’t need to be difficult.
1. Schedule time in the morning to write your goals for the day, center your spirit and set your intentions for the day. Be sure to envision how you want your day to go, then take 3 deep breaths and off you go.
2. Aggressively let go of expectations. Expecting something to go a certain way or someone acting a certain way is a quick way of causing you stress and pain. Letting go of those expectations and allowing things to be exactly what they are will allow you to enjoy life without the constant emotional upset.
3. Listen intentionally without judging others. Our natural selves want to analyze and judge people according to our own belief system. Practice paying attention, without forming an opinion or a response, keep eye contact and lean
4. Enjoy time in nature. There is a certain energy in nature, listening to the breeze rustling the leaves, water rushing in a stream, be still and let the energy of nature to ground you back to a peaceful state.
5. Eat good nourishing foods. Grow your own garden, plant fruit trees. You’ll find that your body thrives, is in less pain and will heal faster when eating right.
6. Start dancing when you feel stressed out. Fluid motion releases tension, playing your favorite music increases energy and releases dopamine to give you a temporary high.
7. Unplug your electronics and relish in the peace. Most regular consumers have an average of 4 electronic devices that serve as a distraction in reaching your goals and intentions for the day. Reduce your screen time and tune into the feeling of peace within you.
8. Be grateful for the things you have in life. Focus on the things you love in life and what you admire. Be mindful of complaining too much, as this will reduce your focus to achieve abundance.
9. Take a break from TV as it can create mental confusion in reaching your thriving state of mind. Enjoy a show or two, but then break away and do something that helps you grow and learn.
10. Show appreciation for the people who support you, send a thoughtful note in the mail. Appreciation will uplift your spiritual energy and of those you show appreciation to.
11. Enjoy activities you’ve never done before. Expand your views and experiences, never stop exploring the endless opportunities that the world has to offer you.
12. Get lost in an enchanting book and expand your horizons to jump start your creativity and imagination to bring yourself into a magical wonderland.
13. Spend quality time with friends and family We all have busy lives, but set an intention to spend time with your friends and family, talk to them about your goals and ask them to help keep you on track.
14. Write in your journal every day to get those emotions out of your head on onto some paper. Be honest and write until any negative emotions are completely expressed. This releases them and can help shift energy back to a good space.
15. Take a step towards your goals every day. Even a small step is making forward motion. These small actions will add up to help you succeed in manageable bite-size pieces.
16. Create your own “I Am’ statement. Many people struggle with loving themselves and need constant reminders. Think about your positive qualities and write them down, put them up where you can see them daily and read them out loud to yourself.
17. Decide to learn something that you think to be difficult. Push the boundaries of your comfort zone and try out something new. When you accomplish something that you feel is hard, you increase your self-confidence and learn to love yourself even more.
18. Build empathy and connection to others. Trying to feel what another person is going through and imagine that you are going through it as well can create a close connection to that person.
19. Grow a plant and enjoy the transformation of a seed sprouting into a plant can be inspirational and empowering. Make it a herb or vegetable and enjoy the harvest as well.
20. Give a genuine compliment to a stranger. When providing a compliment to someone we don’t know, it provides a power within them to uplift their day and yours.
21. Enjoy and embrace your alone time. Get to know yourself and discover how wonderful and blessed you are is one of the most important things in being able to thrive in life.
22. Choose to express love instead of fear. Being mindful about your feelings and being able to control that fight or flight instinct is a skill that needs practice and patience. Once controlled you have the power to choose to love others and since love always wins, You win.
23. Find the good in every situation. This takes a lot of practice as well, don’t wait for a bad situation to start learning this skill. Practice finding good things were ever you are, so it comes naturally when you encounter a negative situation. Finding positive in the negative can save you a huge amount of grief and pain. This is a huge step towards thriving in life.
24. Laughter is the best medicine for your heart, soul and emotions. Look for opportunities to laugh at life, at surviving and laugh without inhibition. This can bring more light, energy and joy towards your journey to thriving.
25. Find your true purpose in life. What are you truly passionate about? Set intentional small goals to reach that passion, you can have multiple passions in life, but finding that main purpose and owning it every day can push you to a life of thriving.
26. Pay it forward. When others do kind things for you, be sure to pay it forward and do kind things for others in return without expecting recognition. Don’t forget to let go of expectations. Sharing your energy and heart with others will bring you to a life of thriving.
When a man says one thing, but means another. Talk about shredding my heart into tiny peaces, over and over again. I never knew that the heart can go from one extreme to anther in such fast succession, until just recently. I’m still shaken up and I have no idea how long it will take for me to get over this feeling of disrespect, abandonment and betrayal.
After years of abuse I finally found a guy, lets call him Ron, that I felt something romantic for. I thought that would be impossible as I’ve shut down my heart, scared to feel again and had pushed away every man that desperately tried to unlock my heart. I got used to being a single woman and convinced myself that I actually preferred it this way. Less chance of being hurt again. I thought Ron was different. He treated me pretty good, respected my mental and physical pain and was very understanding of the triggers that abuse had caused me to develop.
I worked on these triggers for years and actually thought I had processed through most of them. Having a man in my life made them real again and I was surprised that I reacted to some of them as quickly and as negatively as I did. I knew I still had work to do, but now I had urgency to complete the process, so I didn’t drive my new fellow away. Don’t get me wrong, Ron had plenty of baggage that he brought into this relationship, but he acted like he was pretty perfect already and really didn’t needed to work on them. In being responsible for my part, knowing that the older we get, the more baggage we acquire, I had to work much harder than when I was young to keep a good relationship a float.
With 60% of relationships ending once you’ve already been through a divorce the first time, can you imagine the odds at a 3rd relationship, a 4th, 5th or 6th relationship? I had given up, no more relationships for me, but then this guy inserted himself into my life and wouldn’t give up until I invited him into my life and my heart. Ron stood at my door crying, begging to be in my life, desperately trying to convince me that a relationship with him would be different, better than what I have had in the past. How could I resist that?
He had convinced me that he was dedicated to making this relationship work and I was hopeful to finally have a man treat me with kindness, so I let him move from his tiny rotten, shell of a place to my large beautiful home. We had worked on several issues, enjoyed many events and went on many adventures and I felt closer to him than ever. It had been several years and I felt we were finally getting to the point where we were both on the same page, wanted the same future and was going to continue to build this relationship. I trusted that we would always communicate, discuss our issues and work things out together. Ron was so convincing that I actually felt we would be together until death do us part.
A surprise? How exciting, my man has never surprised me before and I was thrilled that he finally stepped up his game and was going to do something to show me that I was his beloved. He picked me up at my office and drove me over to an old. ugly, small home with a terrible weed ridden yard. I was surprised for sure. I thought he was just looking to buy it for a rental property, so I was trying to be supportive and encouraging. I went through every room with him, we talked about what room looked the best, what furniture would look good, what could be done with the yard. The whole time I’m wondering what I’m doing there and why was it a surprise for me?
I then discovered that, this fellow of mine, actually bought this house, site unseen, no research done and paid way too much for it. Ron started moving his stuff over immediately and with fervent effort. Every night after work he took van after van load over, working until way after I went to bed. I kept asking him if he was moving out, but he responded with trivial babble, manipulative words and confusing messages over and over again. Sometimes I felt he wanted to be together, others it felt like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. The emotional roller coaster ride was overwhelming my physical pain. Over and over I begged him to communicate with me, tell me what he is feeling, what he wants and if he still wants to be in a relationship with me. There were many moments that he was treating me rude, snappy and made me felt as if he wanted me to get on my knees and beg him to stay, to kiss his toes and be submissive to him. I’m not that kind of girl, so finally I asked him to just be straight with me, “Are you moving out? Yes or No.”. His response was, “Yes, I am moving out.”
Excuse me? No discussions. No indication. I had no idea he wanted to move out, but when I asked him about it he mentioned that he expected me to move over with him. I had lived in my home for 15 years, put at least $50,000 into it and planned on living here until I died. Now, out of the blue, with no warning at all, Ron expected me to move to a home that is smaller, ugly as a cow walking backwards and leave the home I raised my daughters in, worked tirelessly to restore and spent a lot of sweat and tears living in. I tried to explain to him how devastating this could be for me, how many triggers he just set off, the feeling of abandonment he has created in me and what a roller coaster of emotions and physical pain that he is causing me. He didn’t seem to care, wouldn’t listen to reason and kept moving his things over, night after night, until nearly everything he owned was located at the new house.
Over the next week or so, he kept asking me when I’m going to move my things over, what size of a dresser did I want over there, what color would I like the house painted, etc. I kept reminding him that I didn’t plan on moving over, but he just ignored my words and kept up his act. If I felt secure, confident and felt like I could trust that we were going to still be a couple, I actually wouldn’t mind finding a home together, discussing where we wanted to live together, what style house we want to live in and how much we would like our payments to be together. Yet, now, after all of this abandonment and betrayal, I have no belief that I we are even a couple. I felt like we had digressed back to just being friends, there was no romantic inclinations from either of us. At this point he was ignoring me most of the time and I was letting him. The disturbing part is that I didn’t mind and welcomed the extra solitude he was proving me.
Ron spend his first weekend at his new house and while there he thought I would be yearning for him at home, anxiously waiting for his return, begging for his touch when he returned. He was disappointed to find out that it didn’t take me long to rediscover myself again. I start doing things with my friends again, working on myself and actually being happy again! The stress levels decreased ten fold while he was gone. What a splendid weekend, the best I had since he moved in several years ago. Of course he didn’t like that much and started questioning my every move, who I was with, how long we were together, what we were doing, etc. It was Ron that caused all of this new freedom of choice for me which set me free and I was so grateful.
After all of this happened, this fellow made great efforts to get back on my good side and fix the relationship, yet he still has a new, very large, house payment now and feels it necessary to spend every other weekend there. He often begged me to go with him and stay at this house, but I decided that on his weekends away, I got to plan on going and doing the things that I used to love to do; be productive, enjoy nature, take care of chores and home improvements. His decision to trick and deceive me has been the trigger for me to increase the value of myself, my life and my future, with or without him. Suffering with is bad decision and not having the courage to discuss with me how it was affecting him, he ended up moving permanently into his house. A new start for both of us. I still love him and always will, but new beginnings are often exactly what we needed.
It is so difficult to fully love again after one has been hurt, had your heart shredded, had the love of your life stab you in the back or been abused in every possible way. What do you do next?
I guess that depends on how deeply you were destroyed and when you might be ready to love again. I’m a true believer that if you don’t trust the person you are with, your relationship won’t work out.
We all know that you have to deal with your baggage, work your way through it, time heals, the right one is out there, you have a soulmate waiting and there is someone for everyone. I am honestly so sick and tired of hearing these phrases. For years and years I kept hearing this over and over until I wanted to scream. These people meant well, but I certainly didn’t need to hear this. What I needed was someone to understand, support and love me though the pain, the anguish, the terror that was part of my daily life.
I stumbled on with my life, worked longer hours, started going to singles events, but none helped me move forward, none helped me trust enough to give another relationship a try. After many years, I had developed a few strong friendships. These people supported me when I was down, but only if I let them know and most of the time I didn’t. Why? Depression was my excuse, but my actions only created a faster spiral into the depths of despair.
The struggle was real and no one seemed to understand. My daughters tried, they were good at listening, but that wasn’t fair to them and just talking about it wasn’t healing my heart. I needed more.
I had a few female friends, but the friends that I hung out with most ended up being male. I seemed to get along with guys very well, as I tend to do activities and have similar thoughts and just connect to them better. In fact, I’ve always had a lot of men friends. My 21st birthday party was thrown by one of my male friends and there were 21 men there at the party. No females at all, as I didn’t even have a female friend at that time.
I think it was because I was teased by the girls during high school, picked on and teased about my big thick glasses, my country style clothing and my tom-girl activities. I never wanted to pay with dolls, paint my nails or do my hair. I wanted to climb trees, go cave exploring, ride horses bareback.
Two of these male friends and I became pretty close, we never dated, just hung out and did a lot of fun activities together. We started to be known as the three musketeers. These two men showed me that I can start trusting again, they pulled me out of my despair and helped me realize that life was worth living.
I love these two men, not in love, but like big brothers. For 8 years, these two men defended me with their life, protected me from bad dates, listened to my woes and helped me heal from loves lost.
I am now in a long term relationship with a new fellow. These two men are still part of my life and my new guy is understanding and supportive of my male friends. I trust, but not fully and am still working on some baggage. Its a long process that I don’t know will ever be fully completed. I see new progress daily, as I continue looking at myself, my issues, my life and becoming the best person, friend and life partner that I can possibly be.
The Unparalleled 
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